IDHOSPITAL

So you had surgery and posted your post-surgery pictures, only to be met with mean online comments?

How do you react? How do these messages/comments affect your self-esteem? How should you deal with mean online comments?

The first step to deal with mean online comments is to understand the type of people who make the mean comments.

People make mean comments all the time, it is a way of life, especially with the internet, people comment and say things they would not say to you in person. That is why cyber bullying is a reality and the anonymity that the internet offers, allows for people to get away with saying and doing things they wouldn’t otherwise.

An important part of having surgery, especially if you are socially active on the internet is to really know how to deflect these types of comments and understand the behavior behind the people who write them. In order to deal with mean online comments, we have to understand why it is done.

So what makes these mean people online feel like they have a right to comment on your appearance?

Acceptance is an intrinsic need, a part of human nature we all carry in our emotional makeup.
Everyone wants to be beautiful/ attractive! Everyone wants to be loved/wanted/needed! Everyone wants to belong!

Being part of a group, a society, a part of something is (with a few exceptions) what everyone strives for consciously or subconsciously. Being content and fulfilled is what we all want, so when someone cannot achieve that state, it is easy to get jealous of others who have.

Most of the people who make mean comments, only do so because they don’t really like themselves. Saying mean things to others gives them a type of satisfaction.
In a way, even though the attack is directed towards you, the person who makes such comments is not really attacking you per se.

A person with a healthy self-esteem and confidence does not feel the need to attack others on their appearance. Rather than getting angry, or feeling upset and believing their comments, simply read and delete.

Do not give them the satisfaction of passing their negativity to you; the best way to deal with mean online comments is to ignore them. Do not reply. Replying will only escalate the matter, making you more vulnerable to the attack. The delete button is your best friend in this case.

Another important part to note is that beauty is subjective, not everyone will find you beautiful. And that is OK. You are not here to please others or to make them like you. Remember, this is your journey, not theirs.

You have to build a strong armor and deflect the mean comments. It is easier to deal with mean online comments when you are grounded and confident about who you are.

Think, if this person was so happy with their life, would they take time out to come to my social media account to insult/criticize me?

Learn to discern. Instead of dwelling on the negativity, learn to discern between people who are genuine and those that just say things for no reason. Constructive criticism, if you were looking for any, is more welcome that just simple criticism.

Don’t spend too much time online. Rather spend some time getting to know yourself better, enjoy nature, learn a new skill, cultivate some new habits to make your life more rewarding etc. An idle mind is a breeding ground for negativity, so try to fill your time to better yourself rather than pay attention to other people’s criticisms.

And finally, live your life! Don’t waste your time trying to deal with mean online comments.

Focus on your life! That is the reason you had surgery in the first place, so you could live your life to the fullest so we encourage you to take the steps to find the things that fulfill you, concentrate on you and be the BEST version of yourself every single day!

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